So there we were, at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning, about 10 miles into
a 130 mile ride. We had just crossed over the Dumbarton Bridge from
East Palo Alto and were riding through the San Francisco Wildlife
refuge on the north side of the bridge, on our way to Paseo Padre
Blvd, when the call of nature hit me. As is my usual behaviour, I
found a tree off the side of the road, and proceeded to do what comes
naturally to any male.

Next thing I know, a pair of rangers in a blue government Jeep had
pulled a U-turn across the road and parked about 10 feet from my
bike. The apparently senior of the two came walking towards me, his
9mm Glock semi-automatic in full and prominent view.

Ranger : "How old are you ?"
Me     : "31" 
Ranger : "Have you done this before ?"
Me     : "Done what ?"
Ranger : "What you just did", pointing to the dark circle near the tree.
Me     : "Urinate ? Sure!"
Ranger : "Did you know that it's an offence punishable by $100,000 and
         I could haul you off to jail ?"
Me     : Rolling my eyes, "No, I didn't know that." Was this trumped up
         piece of officialdom equating urination with industrial
         pollution ? Was he concerned about public display of
         indecency, even though my back had been to the road and any
         passing observer (at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning ???) would have
         seen no more than the butt of my cycling shorts ?
Ranger : Looking at my Ryan recumbent, "But I suppose anyone riding a
         bike like that could afford $100,000."
Me     : (Trying not to laugh and appear somber and serious at the same time)
Ranger : "May I see your ID ?"

I debated with myself, but handed him my driver's licence anyway. At
this point the ranger walked back to the jeep and proceeded to talk
into his radio, giving my licence number and address to the person at
the other end. All I can conclude is that the "dispatcher" told him to
get a life because after several minutes of this the ranger walked
back to me and handed me my driver's licence.

Ranger : "What do you do for a living ?"
Me     : "I'm a software engineer."
Ranger : "You don't work on Windows-95 do you, 'cuz that would be a
         $100,000 fine right there. HA HA HA"
Me     : (Rolling my eyes again)
Ranger : (Noticing the button I wear on my jacket, he proceeded to read)
         "GO .... FASCINATE ... SOMEONE ... ELSE"
         "Humph .... have a nice day"
Me     : "You too!"

At this point, the ranger got back into his jeep, pulled another
U-turn across the road and disappeared. If I hadn't just relieved
myself, I would have been at this point ... I could no longer contain
the disbelief and started laughing. Harrassing someone for urination ?
Did I just make his day by allowing him to harass one of those no-good
cyclists ? I'm still kicking myself for not asking the ranger his name
.... my taxes are going towards paying his salary.